Recipe for Disaster
by Sukki18
Summary: Add two mischievious troublemakers, two naïve twins, one bet, one jealous ex-boyfriend and ten Akatsuki members together. Shake well. Caution: May be subject to uncontrolable laughing. Serves: Infinite. HIGH SCHOOL AU DeiOC ItaOC
1. Meet Shizukana

Disclaimer: I have no ownership over Naruto.

Sooooo I was... doing something I can't remember... and I suddenly had a thought, _what if I wrote a story about my friends in a Naruto fanfic._ So here it is! Ta-da! lol The best part about this: my friends don't know I'm doing it! (Well except for Sukoshi-NinjaFox'sBuddy, since she reads all my Naruto fanfics... BTW she owns Angel/Sukoshi, I own the other three OCs.)

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"TEME!" Naruto shouted and I looked up from my math in time to see Naruto shove his face in Sasuke's, "Why didn't you tell me you had a party last night?" Sasuke just looked back and said, "Hn." I rolled my eyes and returned to my math homework, I would never understand how those two could be best friends. They were so opposite. Naruto saw my expression, "What?" He said turning to me. I smiled sweetly, "Nothing, I was just thinking how you two are so wierd." It was Sasuke's turn to roll his onyx eyes, "Says you." He muttered. I made a face behind his back and Naruto laughed, causing our friend to twist in his chair, his dark eyes narrow. I fluttered my eyelashes innocently and returned to my work without another word.

My name is Kenka Suru Horoki and, let me tell you, my parents named me well. I was very prideful and I lived up to my family name. I've been told that I'd argue with a doorknob and for once I agree. I'd argue with anything, even if I knew I was wrong. I liked to claim I was gothic, but really I was more of a nerd than anything. Black was the only color I wore, but my favorite color was actually white. Strange, I know. I kept my pinkish-purple hair up in a high ponytail held together with ebony chopsticks that my brother gave me for my birthday. My yellow eyes were half hidden under my bangs.

Sukoshi bounded in a few minutes later, her black split skirt fluttering behind her, giving anyone who cared a brief glimpse of her sliver shorts underneath. She skidded to a halt in front of my desk and doubled over panting, her arms, covered in tall black fingerless gloves, were proped up on my dest to keep herself from toppling over. After she caught her breath she straightened and pushed her reddish-brown hair out of her green-blue eyes, "You'll never guess what I just heard!" I tapped my finger exaggeratedly against my chin then said, "Nope, I give up!" Sasuke rolled his eyes again. Sukoshi, better known as Angel, and I have been best friends since we were two. We weren't sister, but we might as well be.

Sukoshi shot a glare at me before returning to her hyper state she got from her brother, Naruto. (A.N. I know S-NFB: they're not really sibs, but in this story they are! lol) "I was walking by the office when I overheard Lady Tsunade talking to Shizune!" I raised an eyebrow, "Yeah... she usually does talk to her assistant..." Sukoshi gave me another glare, this one darker, and continued, "Let me finish! Apparently we're getting new students!" Sasuke was the one who responded, "And this is relevent... why? We have new students every week." Sukoshi waved her hand at the Uchiha without looking at him, "Oh be quiet. These are different. Lady Tsunade said that they're from Kiri! We got transfer students, isn't that awesome!?" I sighed, "You had soda again, didn't you?" Sukoshi smiled and we immediately knew the answer. Sasuke and I groaned while Naruto high-fived his younger sister. Sukoshi and caffeine was almost as bad as Tobi and sugar powdered doughnuts. That was an experiance that I didn't want to repeat.

Sakura and Ino came in, arguing as always. They argued more than me! Sakura cut off to kiss Sasuke on the cheek, he turned at the last minute and kissed her full on the lips in front of the whole class. Naruto, Ino, Sukoshi and I made cat calls and teased the new couple mercilessly. Sasuke had realized how much he actually cared for Sakura a few weeks ago and finally asked her out. Ino and Sukoshi gave him the 'you harm my best friend and I'll cut your manhood off and make you eat it' speech just like I did to Shikamaru when he asked Ino out. Sukoshi and I glanced at each other, then said loudly, hugging each other, "FOREVER ALONE!" Our friends sweatdropped and the rest of the class fell out of their seats laughing. I scretched out my long legs, crossing them at the ankles, and sighed, "Yeah... I can't believe how much I missed the single life! I don't think I'll ever date again!" Ino tsked, "You know you will eventually." I shrugged, so far there was no one, but then I had only been single for a week.

Orochimaru walked in then and everyone fell silent. He gave his signature smile and started with his oily voice, "Sssstudentss, we will begin classssss now. Pleassse open your bookssss to page three twenty-ssssix." Half the class shuddered at his hissing. There was a reason we called him Pedo-snake behind his back. Sukoshi raised her hand, "Pedo-snake-sensei? Can I go to the bathroom?" Well most of us behind his back. Orochimaru glared at her, his yellow eyes pratically glowing against his dead-white skin. I was just glad that I had a tan complextion and my own yellow eyes looked more like gold instead of... snakey. "No." Orochimaru growled and turned to the board, his pedophile nature gone in place of his anger. I discreetly fist bumped Sukoshi while his back was turned.

A knock on the door and Lady Tsunade opened it. Orochimaru narrowed his eyes at the intrusion as Tsunade usered in a girl with long blonde hair and black eyes. Naruto shouted, "Grandma Tsunade, who's that?" Lady Tsunade glared at the blonde for calling her old and answered, "Class this is Sokudo Shizukana. She's here with her sister from Kiri. Please make her welcome." Silence. New kids were hardly ever welcomed just like that, they had to earn their place. Naruto shot to his feet and slammed a fist on his deck, "Hi! I'm Uzumaki Naruto! Believe it!" Shizukana looked a little startled at his outburst while the class laughed. Naruto grinned and bowed mockingly as he sat back down. Lady Tsunade rolled her eyes and said to Shizukana, "Just take a seat wherever." Then she left.

Shizukana watched us with wide eyes, as if she was afraid we'd kill her. Someone in the back growled like an animal and soon people picked it up until the whole class was growling at the new girl, except for a few myself included. Shizukana backed up until her back hit the door, panic clear in her face. She probably thought we were a bunch of savages. Her dark eyes darted to Orochimaru, but he was staring at her with his pedophile smile. I wouldn't be surprised if she ran then. Sighing I stood and the growling cut off. I smiled mentally to myself. I was popular, so I commanded respect. I smiled cheerfully at the girl, "Hiya! I'm Horoki! Welcome to Konoha, you can sit by me if you want." Shizukana's lips actually trembled in relief as she took her seat beside me.

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"So, you're from Kiri. That's a long ways from here." I said to Shizukana as we walked out of class. She nodded, "Yeah... my dad got a job in Konoha and we moved just like that. Are all classes like that?" She asked suddenly. I raised an eyebrow, "If you mean the growling, yeah pretty much." "No I meant... the teacher. He wouldn't stop looking at me." Sakura, who was walking behind us, said, "Orochimaru is a pedo. The only person you might have a problem like that is Jiraya-sensei." Shizukana turned to the pinkette, who had been talking to Sasuke and Sukoshi quietly until then, "A- a pedo? What's that?" Our whole group stopped dead in the hallway. Even Naruto was too shocked to laugh. Students flowed around us, not daring to push through without getting killed by Sakura or Sukoshi. Ino was the one who explained, "A pedo is a pedophile." At Shizukana's still confused look Ino sighed and said, "A pervert?" Still no comprehension. Finally Sukoshi snapped, "Someone who likes going after underaged kids!" Shizukana stared at Sukoshi, as if she couldn't believe that such a person actually existed, "W-why is he working here?"

Naruto was the one who answered her this time, "That will remain a mystery as long as we live. Did you really not know what a pedo was?" Shizukana blushed and shook her head. That was when we laughed. Naruto tucked our poor little friend under his arm and said, "Poor poor Shizukana... you've been sheltered." Sukoshi laughed, "Says the guy who believed in Santa until he was thirteen!" The Uzumaki siblings started arguing while Shizukana stared at them. When the two came to blows she looked at the rest of us just watching, "They won't get into trouble?" I smiled at the clueless girl, "Let me put it this way, Konoha High is probably the most backward school on the face of the planet. Pedophile teachers and fist fights aren't the worst things." Shizukana blanched and squeaked, "What have I gotten myself into?"

^o^

Wha'cha think?

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	2. Laxatives and Drama

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto

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My next class I didn't have any of my friends, it was Advanced Art, for people who actually enjoyed art and didn't take it just for the credit. I was the only one out of my friends who had artistic talents. Most of the class consisted of seniors and juniors. I was the only sophomore, and freshman weren't allowed to take the class. I walked in my class full of confidence, my red and black plaid skirt swishing against my legs. The heels of my knee high black leather boots clicked against the floor as I made my way to my table. As I sat down, the blue haired senior Konan said, "So I heard that you risked your popularity to stand of for a new kid..." I smiled at my somewhat friend. We only hung out because there was no one else to talk to. "I felt sorry for her. She wasn't standing up well against the Growl at all. Did you know she didn't know what a pedophile was? We had to explain it." Konan laughed, "Oh that's harsh! She should just run back to her old home before anything bad happened."

I gave her a look, "Please tell me they aren't." Konan shrugged, "Alright I won't say anything..." I groaned. Konan belonged to a group of seniors called the Akatsuki, they were the kings (and queen) of popularity. They made the rules and decided who was popluar and who wasn't. Not even the good teachers bothered them; rumor had it that one of the the teachers disappeared when he gave detention to a member. Konan had secretly confided with me that it was really just a lie to keep the students scared of the Akatsuki, not that they needed much help anyway. If the Akatsuki deemed Shizukana unpopular she was a goner. The only reason why I was popular was because I was friends with Sasuke and his older brother was a member of the Akatsuki. If I didn't have that connection I'd probably be written off as a true emo. The one who wrote poetry complaining about their pitiful lives and cut themselves. I just dressed like one, nothing more.

Someone covered my eyes suddenly and I said, "Deidara, hands off!" My Akatsuki friend, who was actually a friend and not just someone I hung out with like Konan, pouted and backed away, "You're no fun, un." Sasori rolled his eyes behind Deidara. I made a face, "You're right, I'm a party pooper. Which is why I'm never invited to anything." I ended with a grin and the three seniors laughed. Deidara leaned one arm against the table and asked, "So... when are you going to go out with me, yeah?" Deidara always asked me that every single time he saw me. I rolled my eyes, "You see there's this new thing going around called 'maturity'... when you get some I'll think about it." I said sarcastically. Sasori smirked and Konan laughed while Deidara gave me a pout/glare. Only the blonde senior could pull off such an expression.

I shook my head, "Geez Dei, I just broke up with my ex-boyfriend!" Konan snickered, "So? He asked you when you were still happy with Sai." She reminded me. I groaned, "Don't remind me of such painful memories. I'm desperately trying to forget them." Deidara took offence, "Well sorry if I'm_ that_ repulsive, Horoki, un!" I laughed and patted my friend's shoulder, "I'm talking about Sai, Deidara! I'd never say that about a friend... well at least not to his face." Deidara turned red with anger and pulled out clay he always carried around. His anger therapist suggested playing with clay to keep him from losing his temper. The Akatsuki and I teased him mercilessly about it, but secretly I was glad for it. Before the clay idea Deidara would explode over anything. Now he just steamed a little before calming down again. I wrapped my arms around his waist and gave him puppy eyes, "DeiDei... I sorry." I said in a squeaky voice that made Konan snort. Deidara sighed exsaperated at my puppy eyes and pushed my face away playfully. I returned by nipping at his fingers, but he was too quick to get bit. "Get back to work!" Our teacher shouted at a couple students, but ignored us, too afraid to even meet the Akatsuki's gaze. We knew he yelling was really for us, but he dare not order the Akatsuki around.

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Sukoshi glomped me the minute I walked out of the art room. I stumbled back into Deidara, surprised by the sudden attack. I looked down at the fifteen year old girl, "Sukoshi... what on earth are you doing?" I asked. She grinned, "You wouldn't believe what I just heard!" I rolled my eyes, "What?" "Karin and Sai are dating now! Shall I get the laxatives?" The three Akatsuki members sweatdropped, remember of another time Sukoshi got her hands on laxatives. It wasn't a pleasent experiance for Kiba when he broke up with Hinata. Deidara wrapped an arm around my shoulders, "Yes, un." Sukoshi grinned and took his answer as mine. She spun and tore down the hallway, leaving behind a trail of kids she had knocked down and their papers.

I glared at Deidara, "You know she's going to put so much in their drinks that they'll die, right?" Deidara pulled me closer so that I was pressed against his side, "If someone is stupid enough to cheat on you with the High School Slut and then dump you for her, he deserves to die." Sometimes I really didn't know why I didn't date Deidara. He really was nice and sweet... Someone triped over his shoes, "Watch it before I blow you sky high!" Deidara roared at the poor freshman. ...Except for that temper of his. With his temper and my argumenative nature we wouldn't last two minutes, if two seconds. I ducked out from under his arm, "Gotta go to class. See ya at lunch!" I called to the three Akatsuki members as I backed down the hallway leading to my class. Konan and Deidara said bye, Sasori just nodded.

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Ino saw me standing in the door to the classroom first, she grinned and waved me over, "Horoki! Come'er." She said and waved me over then turned back to the girl my friends were surrounding, "Hanasu, this here is Kenka Suru Horoki. She's the girl that saved your sister." Ino grinned at me over her shoulder, "Horoki, this is Sokudo Hanasu, Shizukana's twin sister." The bell rang and we all hurried to our seats before Asuma-sensei could count us tardy. He was one of the only teachers that dared to do such a thing. Although my friends and I usually got away with it since his star student, Shikamaru, was part of our group.

Sakura leaned forward and hissed in my ear, "Where's Sukoshi?" That was when I noticed that our evil minded friend was missing. All of us turned out eyes on the door, waiting for the Uzumaki girl to make a hurried appearance; but she didn't show up. Not even when Asuma called roll or started teaching math. We exchanged uneasy glances, math was Sukoshi's favorite subject, she wouldn't dare skip it. Was she in trouble?

Just as Asuma started to write the rules triganomatry on the board the door banged open and Sukoshi, in all her dramatic glory, waltzed in. All eyes landed on her and, in a moment of improvize she struck a pose, raised her right hand and said in a british accent, "Hello darlings, the hopeless romantic is here!" Even Asume had trouble smorthering his laughter then. That was the best thing about Sukoshi, she was the life of the party. We could always count on her for a good laugh. (A.N. Sorry S-NFB, no bonus points! ;P)

^o^

Ahhhhh Angel/Sukoshi... you have to love her.

Flame friendly!


	3. Extreme Dares are Dangerous!

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.

Yay! New chapter, aren't you happy?!

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I walked with Hanasu and Shikoshi to lunch. Whatever Shizukana was, Hanasu wasn't. That girl could _talk!_ Sukoshi, who was pretty talkative herself, couldn't get a word in. I didn't even bother trying to speak, I knew I wouldn't get a word in. "So... you two are troublemakers? And Gothic? But how are you popular?" Hanasu asked. Sukoshi and I exchanged looks, a smirked crawled up my best friends face, those were the questions we got asked the most. Sukoshi shrugged, "There's a group of seniors called the Akatsuki, they are the judges of popularity. The royalty if you will. They deem whose popular and who isn't." I interjected, "Uchiha Sasuke's older brother is one of the members. As a result, Sasuke and anyone who is his friends are popular. We're friends with him."

Sukoshi took the explaination again, "Also, Horoki and I know some of the Akatsuki personally. So that makes our popluarity solid." Hanasu nodded, her eyes wide as she let everything we told her in. Sukoshi and I exchanged another look, this one of mischief, "There's a test. You have to do something embarrassing to even be seriously considered by the Akatsuki." Hanasu gasped, "What did you two do?" I smirked, "I ran around screaming that I loved Justin Beiber at the top of my lungs." Sukoshi laughed and said, "I slid into a trashcan and fell to the floor in front of the entire student body." Hanasu looked a little green, and clutched her books to her chest as a protective shield. Sukoshi was the first to break, she burst out laughing and leaned against the wall to keep from falling over. I giggled uncontrolably.

Our friends walked up then. Sasuke rose one dark eyebrow at our hysterical laughter and Hanasu's scarlet face. He asked, "What did you two do now?" We only laughed more and Hanasu turned to the Uchiha boy, "Is it true that I have to do something embarressing to be popular?" Naruto slung an arm over her shoulder, "Naw, those two are just messing with you. They do that." "...oh..." Hanasu blushed even more and Sakura waved a hand, "Don't worry about it. They pull pranks on everyone. You'll learn after a few weeks when they're messing with you." Sukoshi turned to me, "Horoki, what was the prank we pulled on Sakura a few weeks ago?" She asked with a mischievious glance at the now glaring Sakura. I tapped a finger on my chin, "When we told her that Sasuke was going to ask her out? Or when we put feathers in her locker?" Sukoshi shrugged, "I don't know. But I remember she fell for both of them!" We laughed again while our friends sweat-dropped.

By the time we reached the cafeteria five people had come up, asking me if I knew what happened to Sai. I said I didn't, even though I knew exactly what had happened. The carefully innocent expression on Sukoshi's face confirmed it. As we walked through the cafeteria doors I snapped at her, "Just how much lazatives did you use?!" She laughed and ran ahead of the group, calling over her shoulder, "LOTSSSSSSSSS!" I facepalmed and dragged my hand down my face slowly, sometimes my best friend was difficult. Hanasu looked worried, "Did she say laxatives? Isn't that..." She didn't finish, too embarrassed. Sakura answered her, "Sukoshi has an acute sense of revenge. Sai dumped Horoki for Karin, the school slut. So she took it out of them." "But... why laxatives?" Hanasu asked bewildered as we sat down at our regular lunch table, which was just across from the Akatsuki, since we had personal ties.

Deidara heard the conversation and leaned over to say, "Because the girl is crazy, un." I glared at the blonde, "Don't call the kettle black, Deidara." He grinned, "That goes for you too, sweetheart." Before either of us could really start arguing Sukoshi interuppted, "Don't! Don't you two start arguing! I'll smash both your faces in if you do!" Though both of us were hotheads, Deidara and I knew when to shut up or risk Sukoshi's wrath. Hanasu had started to look freaked, "I. Have. No. Clue. What. Is. Going. On. Here!" Naruto laughed and said, "Let me explain, Horoki used to date this jerk named Sai, they broke up a week ago. Sukoshi heard that Sai started dating Karin, the school slut, so she took revenge for her best friend, Horoki, by putting laxatives in their drinks. Deidara, however, is Horoki's friend and seems to want to date her- it could be playful or serious I don't know. But Horoki won't date _him_ for the stupid reason that both of them are extreme hot-tempered, she's convinced that it won't last five minutes. In reality, it probably wouldn't even last that long. Following so far?" Hanasu nodded dazed. I admit it was a lot to take in, but we're talking about months of drama in only a few breaths. Naruto continued, "Sukoshi, who has a short temper herself, though not as short as theirs, gets headaches easily. And nothing brings on one of her headaches faster than Deidara and Horoki fighting, and-"

I waved a hand in front of his face to shut him up, "Naruto, stop scaring the poor girl! And stop spilling my personal life before I shove a sock down your throat!" Everyone, who was keeping in their laughter so far, finally broke down. Sukoshi would have fallen out of her seat if Itachi, one of the only ones still quiet, hadn't caught her. My friend grinned her thanks before straightening again, A mischievious glint in her green eyes "I bet you couldn't last a week without arguing with Deidara, Horoki." She told me, grinning in a way that I knew I wouldn't like what came next. She stood, "I call for another extreme dare!" Immediately everyone at both tables fell silent. Extreme dares started when we were freshmen, they were bets that couldn't be backed out of. Usually if someone failed the bet they had to pay an extraordinary price. One such dare was actually the reason why Sukoshi has such and obession with laxative revenge.

Before anyone could object, she said, "I bet that Horoki and Deidara couldn't last a week dating." Mouths around both tables dropped. Deidara and I exchanged uneasy looks, if the majority of our firends agreed then we would have to date for a week minimum. Itachi, who took uncommon pleasure in needling Deidara, spoke up, "I bet a month." Sukoshi grinned at Itachi then turned back to the oncoming bet, "That's one vote. Who else?" Only Hanasu, who wasn't really a part of our group anyway, didn't raise her hand. Everyone else's arm shot into the air. I groaned and buried my face in my hands, now came the worst part: the twists and stakes.

Naruto started it, "You two have to act like a couple!" Well that was a given. Ino added, "Everyone, including your families, have to think you two are actually dating, and it's not just a bet. Let's see how Sai reacts." I might actually enjoy that one. It went on and on. Deidara and I had to pay everyone $1,000 each if we couldn't last a month. We weren't allowed to argue with each other, or we automatically lost the bet. We couldn't kill any of our friends until the bet was over. There had to be at least five actual dates, prepared by our friends, in the month we were dating. We couldn't get too serious (Sukoshi came up with that one, to warn Deidara to keep his hands off me). The list went on until I wasn't sure if I could shift in my seat without breaking one of the rules. At least Sakura had the kind enough heart to say that the bet didn't start until tomorrow.

Tomorrow my hell begins.

^o^

Treacherous friends! ...You gotta love them! XD

Friendly of the Flames.


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